I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
