At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just made my gag reflex go away.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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