It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
and she was petting her beer can
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
