so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
