ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
