so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
