At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
