K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize