he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
