And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
