Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
