Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
farters have to be the big spoon...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The ass gains better be worth it
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