It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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