What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
