Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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