i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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