A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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