Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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