that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
