It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
