Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
