Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
