margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
