just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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