I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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