Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
