You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
