Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
