:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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