yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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