My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
