Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
