I'm lost and stupid without you.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
