your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
