i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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