everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
