From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I just went to clothing optional bar
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
