Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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