We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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