I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
