I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
