So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
