wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
