Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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