We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
