My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
