38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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