My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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