I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
