Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
