I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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